Have you ever had an interaction with someone that didn’t quite go the way you expected?

The sort of situation where you wished you hadn’t said what you said or maybe spoke out of turn, because you know you will have to interact with this person in the future.

So here is a nice quick exercise that you can run through yourself so that you see things from another perspective.

Set up 3 positions in your mind, the
First Position – Is through your eyes (Self)
Second Position – is through the other persons eyes (Other)
Third Position – is through an observer’s eyes (Observer)

You in the self’ position ask yourself the following questions to get clarity on the issue.
‘Who are you having an issue with?’
‘What is the issue you wish to resolve with this person’
‘Can you remember a specific occurrence?’
How is this a problem for you?
What is something that (other) is good at?

Now you are in the ‘other’ position.

Imagine what is going on for (other) at this moment. Step into their thoughts and feelings. Imagine you are (other)

Then ask these specific questions to get insights:
‘So (other), what is going on for you in this situation with (self)?
What is (self) doing in this situation?
‘…and what else?’
‘How does that make you feel (other)?’
‘What is (self) good at?
What is something you admire or respect about him/her?’

Now you are in the third person (Observer) position and think about someone neutral from whom you would take advice?’

Just imagine you are (observer) for a moment. Think how (observer) thinks.
Ask these specific questions:
‘What behaviours do you notice in (self)?’
‘What behaviours do you notice in (other)?’
What is something you respect in (self)?’
What is something you respect in (other)?’

Now go back into the first person (self).
‘What did you learn from this experience?’
‘And what else did you learn?’
‘How will you behave differently in the future?’

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